11 December 2008

Porn



If you find yourself taking a porn assignment, be prepared. Normal design and review procedures usually go out the window. It is very rare indeed to find such a client with any sense of design or even good taste. (I have worked for some who do.. well one, and he has exceptional taste in everything). More so than in my craigslist article... get paid first, give over the project last. Be clear about what you will and will not do and stick to it. Do not put your name on anything as you never know where and with what it will finally be used for. Even though I always, and sometimes foolishly, obsess over giving a good end product, I have more than once screwed myself with this otherwise essential work ethic. Give them what they want and get out, quick. 90% of all these jobs never make a cent or even get past the early planning stages. I know everyone think sex sells and it will, when it follows the same standards as any other business and porn very rarely does.

If the contact person calls himself by a different name... or calls you by different names every time you speak... drop it right away. If they can not provide you with proof the models are legal or the video is actually theirs to use, drop it even faster (and tell the police). If they insist your entire country “get over itself” and change it’s native language to English because they are there to film a porno movie... keep them on the phone and get as much dialogue for potential personal future use as possible (it’s much harder to get truly demented dialogue than you would imagine out of your head) then laugh at thier ignorance and hang up.

You can and might have to make money here and there with porn. Even big companies are not always as corporate and professional as you might think. One offered me 250$ to do a shoot for them as long as I flew to L.A., rented a hotel and fed myself for 2 weeks for the priviledge of having done work for them, as if it was a great CV enhancer or something!

Which reminds me. Do not put it on your CV.

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